I am the youngest of 5 children in my family. Growing up, I withstood a colossal crap load of being picked on and picked apart by my older siblings. Some of it I whole heartedly deserved, some it was just for fun and some of it was meant to push my buttons and leave me bleeding. Now, I’m not throwing blame at any of my siblings; this kind of behavior goes on with kids growing up. It just does. We invariably think we need to sharpen our teeth on our loved ones to get ready for the big, bad world…….or just have some fun at another’s expense to make ourselves feel better. Both of these are bad for the Love and Creativity business.
Once a person finds what makes them sing from their true essence, the need to poke fun or otherwise harm another quickly evaporates. Being in the flow of creating has always left me with wanting more of that. You know, that touched by God and the universe sort of feeling that just keeps getting sweeter the more it shows up.
Speaking from a recent experience where I was once again on the receiving end of a “good natured” poking, I have to say that I had forgotten just how much it hurts. I was flying high after two big “art” events in my life. One which took me months to complete. That is when we are the most vulnerable, when we are wide open with emotion…..and ripe for the picking. Whatever the intention was from the other person is their business but finding it necessary to humble someone at the height of their joy is pretty revealing. There is a lesson here for me……..
1. Realize that when someone is “putting me in my place”, it speaks more about their need to feel better about themselves then it does about me. I can look back in my own life and know that whenever I have been a part of poking fun at another there was a place in me that was feeling “not good enough”.
2. If someone feels a need to put someone down or humble them, “for their own good”, I can assure you, it’s never good for the recipient. There’s a road to hell paved with good intentions.
3. Create distance from anyone who would want or need to inflict harm. Whether they are aware of the harm they are inflicting does not give them permission to do it. It’s ultimately my choice whether I continue to subject myself to their brand of humor.
4. Forgive…….and move on. If I choose to hold onto this, it just gets in the way of creating something new and beautiful and prevents me from that sweet spot of life that I so love to be a part of.
5. Speak with kindness and treat everyone with the lightness that you would want to receive.
There is plenty of darkness and hurt in this world. If you love someone, lift them up. Celebrate them. Applaude the fact that they exist in this world. You might be surprised that, in turn, you will receive the beauty of your efforts back into your own life.