My husband and I, packing up our little band of misfits and all of our worldly possessions, moved exactly one month ago, to the mountains of North Carolina. A dream of almost 20 years realized, we have gone about setting all the details of our lives in place.
There have been many moments of chaos, anxiety, fear, worry, joy, apprehension, grief, sadness, excitement and calmness. These “moments” never come with any order or warning. They just appear from thin air, and when they have had a whirl, they tend to leave just as quickly.
I haven’t wrote much about it because I don’t like to be off balance let alone appear like a staggering drunk. But here’s the truth…….this simple decision of picking up and moving has had subtle and profound affects on me that I never even thought of. The good, the bad and the sheerly different details don’t really matter. What does matter is the fact that I am creating more than I ever have – even through the confusion of stability and emotional centeredness. I am fragile, vulnerable and unbalanced at times, and yet with that melee’ has come incredible moments of inspiration and creativity. Go figure……..
I stand in this transition realizing more and more what very little we actually have control over. As I do with clay, I must let go of holding on so tightly, to the old, the comfortable, the familiar and start to embrace the next chapter of my life. May it be beautiful……..